When the bus started up, grumbling all low like most heavy greyhounds, she started up too. Seemingly unprovoked, she started swearing at a man she did not know on the bus. She spat the ugliest words in his face, you wouldn’t even believe, and everyone rolled their eyes and thought, “There always has to be one crazy on a fifteen hour bus ride, doesn't there.”
She was maybe 35 and dressed well, all in black, but had sunken cheeks and jagged movement. I guess you could say something seemed off about her, and not just because she was yelling 'nigger' at a total stranger. The bus driver eventually got her to sit down though, and everyone sank back into their seats and sleepy minds.
Five hours later we stopped at a rest stop, with a backdrop of spiked, snow-topped mountains against the bright, midday sky. People lounged on the grass, ate corn nuts from the gas station, and tried to remember not to make eye contact with the "crazy lady." I guess I forgot to do that because she came and sat down beside me and told me she was sorry.
She told me she thought the man had said that she smelled, but then realized he could have been talking about someone else, that she was being irrational.
“I’m not well,” she said. “I shouldn’t be travelling. I’m too sensitive.”
It turns out she has AIDS and was only on the long bus trip to Vancouver to visit her ex-boyfriend in the hospital. He's had 11 heart attacks since September. She told me it's hard for to travel, and that she's only left her apartment about 20 times this year.
“The nurses think it’s ok I don’t leave my apartment,” she said. “They say it’s good that I don’t go out and get drunk or do drugs like lots of the other people. But I’ve forgotten how to socialize. I take everything so personally.”
We walked over to the road together and stood side by side, looking at the mountains. She had a cigarette in her hand, and I had a bottle of water in mine.
“I only have three years or so to live,” she said. “I wish I could apologize to that guy, but the bus driver told me to leave it alone.”
We stared at the mountains, and they stared back at us, and then it was time to get back on the bus.
As we walked back she put her mp3 earbuds in her ears and looked at me with a smile,
“I just LOVE Elvis.”
3 comments:
wow. so SO wow.
the previous posts as well. especially that last one about the currents. damn, lady.
Thanks so much Sarah! Your feedback is especially encouraging because of how much I respect your writing and enjoy your blog.
These little moments of life are amazing Laura. I still have to lend you that book.
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